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Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
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Tumblr? Ashvini Ayu Aisyah Ellina Irza Lisa NurinQistina Syakirah Yaya Zulaiha

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

08. Dude, I'm done with ya. I won't tell you when but I'm leaving. I just can't take it anymore. You were never there. . Wait.. You were.. You were the caused of it. I'm tired of all these craps. People don't appreciates me anymore and I don't think I'm needed anywhere. Not you, not you, not you, not you. No one needs me. They used me, they toyed with me and left me just like that. Though tears are rolling and I'm crying as loud as I could, you never seem to take note on anything. All these are acting to you. I guess being an actress for my future career means the present career for you huh? I'm sick of you not taking me seriously. I'm tired of people playing with my feelings and I'm super irritated when it comes to you. I guess as days goes by, I don't see you like I usually would see. I don't see those lights behind you when you walk towards me. I don't see those fireworks anymore. I don't see anything in you.You never fail to hurt me with your criticism and I let you do you job. Maybe this is it. I have a strong feeling that I would be abused in the days that are coming. I swear, I have enough of people not caring for me. I can't even remember who was the last person who ever really sit next to me, gives me a hug and ask if I'm okay. I'm really sad/ depressed to realised that nothing right comes in my way. I'm sick of being there for people but they won't do the same for me. It's so tiring when the only person who I yearned for to be the only person to make me okay was the one who caused all this shitt. I don't find myself unappreciated, I find myself stupid for trusting you. Trusting everyone that they won't hurt me physically and mentally. One day, you'll see the girl you had been pushing around will be the one who would stomp you first. Yes, I'm talking about revenge. I have to move on with my life. You were only there for a few moments but still, you left a huge scar in my heart. I will never forgive you nor will I ever treat you the same way, ever again! You're a heartless bitch and a jerk.

Butch, I don't know what's up with you. I love you but I just can't handle this anymore. You always get everything you want. When will it be my turn? Or better yet, When will it be our turn? Telling you will only makes things worst. I rather talk to myself than talking to someone who is so ignorant. I'm tired of all the things I have to faced when it was actually supposed to be us facing this battle together. Yes, I don't really always tell you of how I feel coz every time I tell you about my feelings, we would always end up fighting. I'm tired of faking a smile or playing those old laughing record. You will never see the truth in my eyes. I don't think you will ever notice me like you would usually do. I'm sorry but I am sick of things being repeated countless of times. My existence is a waste of your time.

I've been so emo for the past two days and nothing seems to be alright. I got to know a lot of things, get to see peoples' true colours and I learnt that I can't trust people so easily. The most hating part is that, everything happened so fast. I wish I was still six year old when my only fear was getting my school uniform dirty/ yelling in class/ stepping my teacher's foot/ pushing my sister. I guess I've stopped believing in everything. So this is where my new lesson starts. So be it. Don't worry about me coz I'm done worrying about ya'll. I have enough of people treating me like a charity.

I need a friend. Someone who could make me forget about my problems. And I guess, I have yet to find this person. Goodbye to all.

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