Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
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Sunday, November 7, 2010
![]() ![]() 07. I am back from my 3D2N KL trip. It was supposed to be a for 4D trip but due to my Malay Paper that I am forced to take, I have no choice but to get back a.s.a.p. The trip was neutral. I got myself a pair of Pink Supraa Shoe. Well, I don't really know what a Supraa shoe really looks like but the salesperson told me that the shoe I bought is a Supraa shoe, so what the hell. Both nights were spent at my Aunt's. Currently, I am in a sleepy mode. I kept yawning and it is just 1730. I did not managed to finished my Malay homework so it means that I will have to finish it later and I will probably need 4 hours to finish them all. Pathetic right? Like I've said in my previous post, I superbly hate Malay. My target for this time round will be a B3 or a B4. Why? My Malay sux and I am not afraid to admit it. These few days that I have been apart from you feels like shitt to me. I was really offended with what you did or better yet WHAT YOU NEVER DID. Every time I call you, every time I text ya. Nothing at all. To you, it might be nothing and I am just over-reacting but to me.. Haishh. Does not mean that I am not around, means I am nothing to you. I know you don't mean to do anything to hurt me but sometimes, I need more from ya. I can be both supportive like a cheerleader and understanding like a psychologist but will I get both of that too in return? F- this feeling. I don't want us to get into any fight just because of this but haiyooo.. Why is it so hard for you to just fucking give in and just say that you're sorry? Not once, not twice. Bullshitt. I can't take this. You and your unbelievable tales. Don't you think enough is enough? Or do you still wanna push it to the limit? I don't think anyone misses me. I don't think anyone needs me anymore. I'm good for nothing. I am just a waste of everybody time. I am the caused of everyone misery. I seriously hate this shitt. We don't always get everything that we wished for. I am against fairytale and everything/everyone who promises a happy ending. Those four hour journey made me realised something. I am a changed woman. I cry way too lot than I used to do. Small things has it means to me. I gave up easily and I let my heart get hurt way too often nowadays. I keep giving stupid chances to undeserved people and I keep "closing one eye" for every situations. I tried to be chill.. To be cool but nothing I do makes you takes notice of me. In your eyes, I am just a failure huh? I am just a waste of your time till you keep having me on my knees asking you please. Is it wrong for me to be jealous? Or is it you who do not know the simple technique of " TELL HER". What the fuck? Yes.. You'll probably want me to fuck off right now. I don't know what's pulling me down or what is the caused for pulling us down. To blame on others or yourself? To stand for your rights or to give in and make it seems like it's your fault? Being called weak or being called a man? I'm stubborn, I'm fickle minded and bossy. I can be stuck up and be someone who never fails to pisses you off. I am all of the aboved. So deal with it or go. Down! Down! Down! |