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Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
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Tuesday, November 3, 2009

One day when you realised that I'm strong, that's when you'll see the last of me.
Frankly, just now was the most chaotic thing that i had ever experienced in my life. yes, I'm stupid to believe such things, you said so. i was stubborn and i was dumb to let my heart be 'too open'. i accept the risk, i accept the 'faith' and i accept the hurtful things you did. even though it was resolved a few hours ago, yet i just can't let go of that effing feelings. you're the one who i seek as my everything. you gave me support and motivate me. you're everything great to be a somebody that i will never forget. its not the things that i hate, its the way we handle the things. I'm older now but I'm acting like a foolish young child. i let you get away with things and it hurt me so much to feel that you don't even care. egoistic muchh? maybe? no. i trust you and you're not that kind. how i wish you would hear me with your heart instead of your ears. i want you to be patience when i'm silent. i want you to ask me why instead of yelling. how i crave you'll just give me a hug and say that everything will be okay. when was the last time you did that? its been years and i don't know how to break it down to you. i'm sad, depressed and disappointed with myself. i can't change you to the person i dreamt you to be. i tried to change myslef to accept for who you are but i can't accept it with your ways. a million thoughts run through my mind but i can't get any answer from myself. i just want a change for us. i want us to be happier and you're the only one who could help me. no one had ever done such things to me and you're the first. literally, it hurts physically and emotionally.
-with lots of love to youu...
As ya'll know, went to sch to have maths re-test and it was sort of easy after both teacher had went through with us. Was abit down in the morning but i gain my happiness later on but It was not long till my sadness came. Bby promised to meet me but was late. haishh. then went to his blk to fetch him and we're okay back. After that went home to change and off to Chong Pang. Bby wanted to have a new haircut so i waited for him at Mac(CP). After that, we walk, walk, walk. we surveyed some things. he surveyed for phones while i surveyed for shoes/highlights. Reached home around 4+pm and helped out at home with the chores and now i'm tired and sad. Dick shitt.. bby will be going to chalet tomorrow. 3 days without you+ weekend so a total of 5 days without him. i'll be missing you. Take care love<3

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