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Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
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Tumblr? Ashvini Ayu Aisyah Ellina Irza Lisa NurinQistina Syakirah Yaya Zulaiha

Friday, July 31, 2009

I've made up my mind and i don't know what to say. I've been so down on myself till i find it that my life has no meaning to it. I've set some rules, and i want me, myself to follow my own rules.

(1) don't rely on anyone
(2) don't fully trust anyone
(3) my obsession and passion are no use to me.

i know how, pathetic and i realised that I'm not being myself lately. things have changed and its hard.

it really hurts me. i know, you were having an occasion but it did really hurt me. do you know how it feels when you were hoping to get to have something, but in the end, it was just not your fate? i was hoping for my obsession to be there when i needed him the most. His words were convincing and promising. i was looking forward for this day but it didn't came true anyway, it was what i predicted actually. i was about to change my heart and really say that, he's changed and yes, i could trust him again, but this happened and i don't know what to do. my heart skipped a beat, out of breath and eyes started to shed some tears. its like a dream that was taken away for good. i tried to think something happened to make you not make for our 'time'. i thought of many stupid things like, your leg must be stuck on an elevator or you had a car accident! haishh. I'm full with furry and I'm not sure what to do next. I'm using your old tactic. I'll run away from this horrible thoughts and make myself better. its the easiest thing to do hons. i hope you're reading this coz i have no other way to tell you straight. I'm a coward and i want to think positive. ily dearest and i really do need you right now T-T