Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
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Ashvini
Ayu
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Monday, February 2, 2009
edited my days starts with my sister's alarm clock. woke up at 5.45am and off to school at around 6.30am. early right? everybody was like asking me why i came to school early and was surprised. why? cannot mehh go to school early? called Haqim to accompany me lahh but then he, wimself was a little bit late to school. frankly, my day SUcks. seriously. morning, those two were like bugging me since yesterday and i managed to keep them out of my mind in school but not till recess. Talked to Haqim about it. And to all those bastards and bitches, stop it at once. stop spreading rumours that's ain't true. ME AND HAQIM had broked up and we're like still close friends. It does'nt make sense sia. you guys thought i was two timing? ohh goshh, what a fucking lie and a stupid thing to spread without asking me or haqim. Haqim even knew that i had a guy and that's when the both of us had officially broke up so yea, you can stop all those fucking craps. neither one of us would like to be the main topic of the month especially me. Thanks haqim for the defend and yea forever friends. jealous much. School ended with two periods of M.T and it was okay. i was in a mood to write a compo but i still can't concentrate in class because of that rumours. seriously. met Khai after school and that's when my anger was put to the test. He waited outside school and he was with his friends which he did'nt told me at all. i close one eye and ignore it. he made me walk with my friends and i was okay. then i called him to know where he was and he was just behind me. then rahziah and shamira went to buy waffle while i off went home but on the way home, he asked me to wait for his friends. if people know me well, i don't like to wait for the boyfriend friends. so i told him to gio with his friends and i went home . Surprisingly, he didnt stopped me so that was one of the thing that made me so fucked up. Reached home and more nagging. i cannot bear it so i just walked out of the house like i usually do when im frustrated and that was the perfect time when khai reached my block. he knew i was angry and yea, we settled. sat under this block and was abit angry with him again. the way he talked and fake promises. so i just shut up and yea, again he knew i was angry and luckily he knew what was his mistakes. Went home early at around 4+pm and i spend the rest of my time watching this chinese show. quite interesting. the chinese show started at 5.30pm i think. i wanted to learn chinese and i don't know why but i've been asking my chinese friends like Adelene, Jia Yin and Yu hao how to speak chinese. I texted khai and was abit offended by the way he texted me and yea, i ignore his messages and all. i texted Haqim for help because i wanted to talk to someone and that i want share my anger with him about the spreading. haishh. Today is the first day of the year im like so angry and so fucked up. -sorry for the vulgarities. Just stop those words bitches and bastards. i thank my gf for your understanding. you know me well babe. I feel like falling but i don't know if therer's anyone to reach out for my arms to make me trust that person if he's really going to be there for me. my heart aches and i don't blame god for these things to appear in my hand because i know i can survive all this and this is just one of his challenge. sha, you know in your heart you're just as strong as those people out there. i don't really depend on people to comfort me because i know time will pass and people won't bring this story throught out the year with them and this those species will forget. that fat-ass-wannabee. sometimes, this feeling came shot in my mind, is this really important to you right now? haishh, i don't want to be the old sha which often get mood swings and i don't want to be dull. i don't want people to crowd over me to keep asking what's making me upset. i want people to know me by the girl who's always happy and smile. smilling is way better thn frowning. |